Chris set up five headings

1. Awareness of difference
2. The labelling event
3. Understanding and negotiating the label
4. Compartmentalisation
5. Transformation

 
Chris gave some background information of what each stage meant as identified from a 20-year study, released in 2002.
 
Stage 1: Awareness of difference
All participants described a time when, although the problem had not yet been pinpointed, they were aware of being different from other children (both academically and socially).
 
With this stage there is a type of isolation – of knowing you are different but not the why.
 
Stage 2: The labelling event
This is finding out the “why” you are different. There is usually a sense of relief especially if the person is still at school at the time. As an adult there can be a longer time period of acceptance of the label due to more time having passed trying to “hide” the difference and difficulties.
 
The process of labelling can be long and include many misdiagnosis of other issues, eg poor eyesight, lazy, poor behaviour, anxiety disorder etc
 
Stage 3: Understanding and negotiating the label
 
Following the labelling event participants struggled with two issues:

1. To understand exactly what having a learning difficulty means (what the person can and can’t do)
2. To resolve confusion as to what kind of help would be needed, especially as it related to workplace and in social or relationships situations.

 
Stage 4: Compartmentalisation
This is when the person starts to gain understanding of their learning difference and start to see it as a difference rather than a disability. They start to see what they can do well and when they are faced with areas that are difficult they can implement strategies to help themselves.
 
They are starting to learn to advocate for themselves. They may still have feelings of anxiety in certain situations but are starting to develop an awareness of why they feel that way in certain situations.
  
Stage 5: Transformation
They fully accept their learning difference. They are able to advocate for themselves from a positive place of acceptance.
  
From the study they found getting to self-acceptance isn’t always easy. The participants report having to negotiate stigma while being expected to achieve the same results as their non-dyslexic peer group with little/no support. So that’s something like this: “There’s something wrong with you, but we expect you to be like everyone else.”
  
Chris asked the following questions for discussion.
 
Where does feeling angry sit in the five stages?
Discussed most likely to happen in Stages 2 and 3. There can be a lot of anger that it was never identified while the adult had been at school resulting in feeling a lot of anxiety and shame since that time.
Being angry is also a coping strategy for when the task to complete is difficult so can be a pattern that has been developed.
  
What impact does the age at the labelling make?
Later in life means it is much more difficult to move through these stages. There is a lifetime of patterns developed for coping emotionally that must be understood and managed before fully accepting the label.
 
What do you need to get from one stage to the next?
Chris mentioned that she can move between Stages 3, 4 and 5 depending on what the situation is, her level of understanding and how she is managing her coping patterns.
 
All agreed that increasing awareness of the learning difference and the emotional impact that has resulted are fundamental to being able to move forward.
 
What stage do you need to be to be open about it say in the workplace?
Discussed this can depend on the workplace. Also tricky because employment legislation does not support being open about having a learning difference. You would have to be in Stages 4-5 to feel okay to open about it.
 
What is the impact of other people’s views on your stages through the process?  
If you do not have the support of others around you, you will still feel isolated and have feelings of frustration that others don’t understand. You can still move through the stages however it can be easier if those around you are aware, they understand and can therefore support you.
 
Finally, Chris mentioned that while these stages of self-acceptance have a physical journey, it is the emotional journey that can be more difficult to accept. Being together in a group that understands and supports you through this journey is an important part of moving through the stages.

By Karen, 4th November 2019
  

• Cover Letter
• Job description
• On Line Application

 
I had used a previous template for a cover letter which I use and readapt for any new jobs I am applying for. The main tool I use for this was in the job description from the company of the position I have or am applying for. I stated my current position and overview of my qualifications or experience that will show my ability or skills that they are looking for in a prospective employee.
 
Next is the online application. Well this is a challenge for me in itself. I try and keep it very simple taking small steps at a time, simplifying it, trying to break it down into small chunks although I invariably have always had difficulty attaching the Cover letter and CV for some unknown reason. My solution for this was to ring HR (Human Resources) send it as a separate attachment and get them to attach it.
 
On this occasion I was successful in scoring an interview.  My next step was to prepare for the interview. I needed some help and and guidance with finding my strengths who else better to ask than a successful  person with Dyslexia who knows her own strengths. Thank you Sally 😊. Here are some Links Sally gave me which I found helpful.

The True Gifts of a Dyslexic Mind | Dean Bragonier   
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dPyzFFcG7A&feature=youtu.be 

9 Strengths of Dyslexia  
https://www.nessy.com/us/parents/dyslexia-information/9-strengths-dyslexia/ 

Value Dyslexia Thinking
https://www.virgin.com/richard-branson/value-dyslexic-thinking
 
What is dyslexia
http://dyslexiahelp.umich.edu/dyslexics/learn-about-dyslexia/what-is-dyslexia
 
 
The Interview:

• Be prepared, do some home work and research in readiness for questions.
• Smile, appear really enthusiastic. How much do you want the job? Tell them! and why you want it.
• Know your strengths
• Know your weaknesses ( I prefer to call them areas to be developed)
• Link in their values with your values.
• Ask them questions too. This is your opportunity to interview them.
• Remember they are interested in what you have to offer or you wouldn’t have been selected for the interview.

 
Summary from Chris and further discussion at the meeting
 
Key points:

• Focus on your strengths in the cover letter
• Talking the process through with someone can help
• Online application-
  • do small chunks at a time
  • how can you make it easier to look at? Eg. coloured background, make the print larger
• prior knowledge of the job helps – do your research to help develop a big picture of what eh job includes
• have a positive attitude – you can do this!
• Smile 

 
Strategies Karen has developed to help at work

• using her phone to take photos of notes and write the info down later
• seeing dyslexia as a difference not a disability
• seeing herself more positively helps
• understand some tasks do take longer but can still do it

Chris Cole summarises Wayne's message from the night

Wayne spoke of his learning journey through school. He remembered a couple of teachers that made a difference for him. One teacher let him do his artwork on a wall in the classroom.


As Wayne became older he realised that even though reading, spelling and writing were difficult for him (and still are) it didn’t define him. He spoke of how every dyslexic has a creativity with the way they think and that it’s important to find out what that is and to nurture it. Wayne found his ability to express and articulate for himself was through his artworks and his poetry.


Wayne read a few poems out to the group. With writing poetry, he finds words pop into his head and he “scribbles” these down. These are “formatted” for him by a person he sees at the local art centre.


Wayne had a very powerful message – look for your strengths. These define you more than what you struggle with. As adult dyslexics we tend to focus on what is hard and to help improve our self esteem we need that balance of seeing our whole self which includes our strengths.


NB: Creativity comes in many forms. It can be artwork, poems, working with materials, the ability to pull people together for a common cause, the ability to spread information, musical abilities, sporting abilities, engineering, coding etc

​ Susan Gibson  
Financial Mentor / Education Facilitator from Jubilee Budget Advisory Services 
2nd September 2019
 
The advisers work with people one on one to make a plan that suits your circumstances. They take the time to listen to your story and then support you with resources and information to manage your finances. They can adapt the resources to your needs, eg less information on the page, to help you take the information in better. Let them know you are dyslexic so they can start to do this.
 
Jubilee Budget Advisory Services provide more than just financial support. They help people to consider their;

• Ideas about money
• Goal setting
• Planning ahead
• Your values and beliefs
• Talking about money
• Budgeting

 
They focus on mentoring you and supporting you to learn how to budget and be financially literate. They are not financial advisors.
 
Jubilee Budget Advisory Services also can refer you to other support agencies for example;

• WINZ for all entitlements through WINZ
• Food parcels
• Community Law
• Nga Kete

 
They have very good knowledge on what entitlements are available at WINZ and will support you to access these.
 
Other areas of support include:

• Connecting to mortgage brokers
• Advocacy
• Help you make phone calls
• Help you write and send emails
• To do list for at home
• Help you feel success by making a financial plan and paying off debt

​Overview
·         What is it?
·         What are the triggers?
·         What are the types of grief?
·         How can you function with grief?
 
Grief

• Is very common
• There is good grief
• It can come from sadness, stress and/or shock
• You can be grief stricken – it is not just one clear cut emotion
• It is the bodies way of dealing with loss from death, changes or other experiences
• You feel it on the inside. It affects every part of you, for example, feel tired, can’t concentrate, feel it in the head or heart
• Grief is physical
• It is internal
• It is automatic

 
What losses trigger grief?

• Loss
• injury
• diagnosis
• children left home
• life changes
• relationship changes
• loss of hopes and dreams
• lose sense of identity and confidence
• lose person want to be with

 
What happens to your identity in grief?
You have to figure out who you are in a new situation and learn to live with it. You need to learn what that new identity is. Even with good change, the reality of the change can trigger grief. For example, change to retirement, youngest child starts school.
 
Mourning

• is an outward way of grieving.
• The act of mourning is going to a funeral or giving flowers or burning candles.
• Mourning is doing something

  
Types of grief
 
Grief can be from death or a life transition. It is something that is final. For example, you are moving to a new place to live. It is change that stays with you all your life.
 
Chronic sorrow
This is with you all your life and you face it each day. For example, dementia in families.
Living loss is another name for chronic sorrow. When you get a diagnosis, this can trigger an emotional part and you have to make adaptations in living daily with it, the loss impacts you everyday. Getting a diagnosis means you want to know and you want to get to know what it is.
 
Living losses are not always evident which means it is hard to live with.
 
What you can do about it

• Say OK had enough time trying to make sense of it
• turn a negative into positive (This is vital)

 
How do we shine the light on the positive

• listen to our voice, most of our voices are negative 
• the thoughts we think is who we become
• Make the voice more positive by doing something outward (doing something),for example,  women might bring a friend to a new experience, men do projects
• Other ideas include
  • new experience
  • exercise
  • actively making decisions

 
After developing the new normal and your new identity not everything needs to come from the past. Trust your inner voice, check it out with someone first. It's okay to morph and change. Connect with like minded people. Connecting with like minded people refuels us.
 
Stress
Stress is important. Too much stress is not great though. Living with lot of change is stressful and we need to flush out the adrenaline. Be aware of your fluid and food intake, drink lots of water.
 
Get on and do it

• positive self talk
• now can be frustrating, look at future goals
• set realistic goals
• do journalling, getting it down on paper helps with the processing. It doesn't have to be writing, it can be drawing, painting or sculpting.

  
Looking after yourself

• honor who you are
• have acceptance of who you are
• have confidence in who you are
• have reconciliation of who you are

 
Control of your dyslexia and your response to being dyslexic.
We have to own this.
People mime how we respond.
Owning it and how we present it makes a difference
Advocate for yourself
 
Living loss is real and you are allowed to feel it. 

From a workshop by Catherine Brills, DTSL
 
C-pen

• Can download what has been saved in the C-pen to Google docs (save to file on menu)
• You can scan directly into a Google docs document.
• It has a recorder as a MP3.
• Can get one for a free trial

 Cost $350 + GST
 
Word Q

• Word prediction for spelling. Used in schools a lot.
• You can change the settings to suit your needs, for example,
• How many words are shown on the predictive list
• Can set up topic lists (copy and past off Google)
• Change the type of voice.
• Provides text-to-speech feedback by letting users hear letters, words, and sentences aloud as they are typed.
• It can also recognize and correct creative, or phonetic, misspellings. provides usage examples for easily confused words and homonyms.

 
Can get a free trial
 
Inspiration and Kidspiration
 
Mind mapping tool
 ·         Use for visual mapping, outlining, writing and making presentations, using text, symbols and pictures to represent their ideas.
·         Very good for brainstorming and has a Rapid Fire button to make this happen easily. 
·         Do not have to set up text boxes etc – all done automatically.
·         Features a built-in text-to-speech function,
·         Has one-button transfer to a word processor
·         Can convert the mind map to bullet points (excellent!)
 
Neo Smart Pen
 ·         Have to use special paper
·         What you write is transferred to the computer from the paper.
·         Used for notetaking.
 
Speech to text – Dragon Naturally Speaking
 
For best results use a headphone with a microphone. Also, the plug on the headphones is a USB port.
Dragon Naturally speaking works on all other programmes eg Windows, Office
 
Presenter talked about Dragon Naturally speaking being used in the classroom.  Kapiti College has found that the students need to have a digital recorder to use in the classroom and then use Dragon Naturally speaking at home. Just using Dragon Naturally Speaking didn’t work well on the classroom.
 
The info from class is recorded by the students. The recording can then be transferred into word using Dragon Naturally Speaking. There is no tool (apparently) that can do this process in one go so will need digital recorder and Dragon Naturally Speaking.
 
Cost $420 plus GST plus the headset $60 plus the cost of a digital recorder
 
Other speech to text options
 
Windows has the facility direct into is documents. Google Docs has it as well. These are ok but Dragon Naturally Speaking is more finetuned and easier to use from what I can gather.
 
Dragon Naturally speaking will also read back to you.
 
Funding support for adults
 

• Can apply for funding through Workbridge to purchase assistive technology tools.
• Criteria is a C Grade assessment report. No expiry date on that report.
• Application form is on line- download and complete. Local Workbridge office can assist with the application.

 Contact details in picture at the end.

Funding support for children
The C-pen can be used by students for internal exams for NCEA as part of their special assessment conditions. Talk with your school about how this can be accommodated for.

MOE funding using the Assisted Technology process
To get the funding support with an Assisted Technology application an assessment by the school or RTLB’s, such as Lucid LASS, in conjunction with the on-going assessing within the school can be the evidence needed to meet the process requirements. Work with your school to discuss this potential option.
 
 
Informative websites for assistive technology
 https://thecodpast.org/category/assistive-technology/
 http://assistive.dtsl.co.nz/default.aspx
  

I have a life coaching and reflexology business here in Southland – reflexology is a form of massage  for those of you that don’t know - with my life coaching I work with confident building, goal setting, business, couple coaching, sexual coaching, addiction, and really  motivating my clients to get where they want to go – breaking free from just being stuck and giving them tools to move forward in all every aspect of their lives.
 
Activity
Can I Make everyone stand up for a second …………………I want you to all close your eyes , I want you all to stand up tall ….straighten your shoulders and think of someone that is confidant -either a super hero or a grandparent ….your well respected boss…..your child ……anyone …I know you may feel silly but that’s apart of the fun just trust in what I’m asking of you all……..now I want you to pick a colour that represents this person or character visualise it round you like a bubble……has anyone not got one just put your hand up……………. Right once you have done this, I want you to make that colour represent you and when you feel like you are confidant, I want you to open your eyes….
Who felt more confidant raise your hands? I was aiming for 50% of the room….so that’s good or I’ll have to try harder next time 😊 can everyone come choose something to play.
 
I have been running a successful business for the last 3years, where I can work around my three young children 10 – 7 & 5 I choose my own hours and my hourly rate. Before this I had a wedding dress business where I imported dresses from a famous outlet store in the states. I sold this in 2014 where I made a 100% profit.
 
Business to me is common sense and a lot of hard work but so worth it. Having something that you built up from scratch and to watch it grow is one of the best feelings out.
But I wasn’t always like this.  I struggled big time as a child as I am sure most of you here can relate. I was a late 80’s baby and school was not for me. I became the destructive one in class because the teachers used to call me dumb, they made me feel worthless and useless and was always sent to the back of the class. I remember one time very vividly in primary school where my book was ripped up because I was missing lines while I was copying text from the back board.
 
Intermediate and high school were just as bad. High school I got extremely bored because I missed out on the fundamentals in primary school and by then it was far too late…. My parents knew my struggles and it must have been frustrating for them. My parents were great. Mum always tried to help me with my homework but being very intellectual herself, she got frustrated and ended up doing most for me so I could just copy. My father has struggled with Dyslexia all his life, so he knew of ways to help get my frustration out by taking me out to the garage and putting me in front of the boxing bag or every other weekend taking me bush and going hunting. This kind of became a ritual for us and was a great tool that I still use sometimes.
 
Another example was- in fourth form, my math teacher called me out in front of the entire class room when I put my hand up to ask a question. Before I even got to ask, she told me to put it down because it was going to be a stupid question and sent me out of the room. I stood up and argued with her which did me no good in the end and I was sent to the principal’s office.
 
This became my school life and feeling worthless and dumb as a teenager I got into a lot of trouble trying to find my way I got into a bad crowd and started wagging school and became dependent on alcohol and drugs.
At 16 I left school, my parents rule was if you are going to leave you need to get a job, I had been working since I was 13 at the chicken factory cleaning after school and working full time in school holidays so when I left high school,  I felt factory work was all I was good for (how wrong was I). I then got a second job at Cobb’n’Co and worked both jobs for around 6 months sometimes 18hour days. At 16 I moved out of home I continued partying but worked just as hard as I partied.
So, at just 16 I was out of home, dependent on drugs, sex and alcohol and was working 18hr days.
I am very grateful for is the strong work ethic my parents installed into us kids.
I then moved to Te Anau for a couple of years and worked in the THV hotel as a waitress in the mornings and evenings and cleaning in-between – it was after that I got an amazing job opportunity with fantastic bosses who saw something in me and I became the manager of the Te Anau Dairy with 4 younger staff under me being only 18years old.
 
It wasn’t until I fell pregnant with my eldest daughter at 20, I knew I was a lot more and wanted a lot more than what I was. I have always been good with people and had/ have a natural ability to counsel others and from a young age I knew I wanted to make a difference in other people’s lives. This has always been a huge driver in my life – like a dripping tap in the background I couldn’t turn off.
I got married in 2010 and my husband encouraged me to do something with myself, so I started to build up my wedding dress business. It was called Centre of Attention, a name that came to me watching my eldest daughter as she always liked to be the Centre of Attention, and to be honest so do I. Not in the way of, look at me, look at me, but in a way that I like to walk into a room and build up the energy to make others feel comfortable.
 
I was a young mum worked on the farm, driving tractors, milking and feeding calves and worked as a causal at the Riverton nursing home and put my mind to work at night time building up Centre of Attention. Being Dyslexic helped me so much more than what I gave credit as I didn’t understand at the time, being dyslexic my mind could see the whole picture then I was able to let my mind go - draw it all down and brainstorm……then brain storm, then brain storm. My mind exploded every time I spoke to trusted friends as they would come up with a single idea and my brain would go into over drive expanding it…. into something amazing….
 
My favourite part was meeting the new brides and being able to picture their body shape and personality all in one to find their dream dress. I could dress women in dresses that made them look absolute stunning and in something they never thought they could wear. It was an honour being a part of their special day.
I sold it as I had a person approach me and wanting to come in 50/50, I couldn’t see this happening so decided to let it go.
I then got bored so a year later I wanted to continue to grow but what?  I couldn’t study as I couldn’t write or read out loud – reading in my head was fantastic because I would watch a movie play as I read. I turned some of the words into something different as long as it was in context. (Sally’s speech last month was fantastic when she said her mum used to send her to her room to read the book instead of reading out loud to them, she just had to replay the context inside)
 
So again, I felt I was stuck. I knew I wanted to do something to help others, that dripping tap was getting louder and not so much in the background anymore. I thought what could I do? What about becoming a counsellor? I didn’t realize how much help I could have had throughout my learning experiences with my studies (being dyslexic)
At this time, I was lucky enough to meet my mentor and close friend Jackie Freemantle. This woman I cannot speak highly enough of, what she had done in her life still blows me away. She has been into villages in South Africa that no man let alone white South African women could enter and she did and taught the children and helped heal the sick with her advanced knowledge of medicine. People fly from America just to see this woman and I was lucky enough to have met her and her late husband Grant. Jackie taught me all about reflexology, brain mapping, natural medicine and so much more. She also suggested for me to become a life coach so I found NZ Life Coaching and even better the study didn’t have any written tests, PERFECT!
 
Study became fun because I was interested in what I was about to study. Hard because of the language. I had to learn from scratch, but it was still fun, it became a challenge   and I was determined to succeed. As everything in my life, if I was committed, I was %100 committed.
 
Have you ever found that dictionaries are hopeless because you have no idea what the first to letters start with? And then so you try the thesaurus, and this was just as bad because you firstly didn’t know how to spell the word and then you didn’t know what it meant so therefore it was just hopeless. Well I found Suri. OMG Suri saved my life. I would click on the little icon on my cell phone, speak into it and boom, it came up with not only the word but the meaning also ……double win for me 😊
 
When I was studying, I always had three different pages opened. I would study the context, then study every word that I wasn’t familiar with and then write in my own words. I found this to be a great tool. I found typing or physically writing it out in my own words helped me heaps. I did a 6 months online study before my week intense block course and I passed!!!
The people in my course where school teachers, counsellors, people in executive roles, one lady was a college professor and then there was me…well this is how I felt at the time. I remember one lady coming up to me thinking I was someone of high importance because I carried myself well and presented myself as confident, just like you all did before.  I learnt to do that many years ago as a mask but then became my reality – fake it till you are it!
So back to what I was saying. I was early to the course on the first day , I made sure I was early to choose where I wanted to sit to help me focus (another tool I find that’s really important to make sure you are on top of the game) – as more and more people were walking in she came over and sat with me and whispered  “ oh everyone here doesn’t really look like much do they I was expecting much more, maybe I’m on the wrong course”. I was quite taken back by what she said and smiled politely. On the second last day of the course we had to all stand up and speak for 5mins before we got our certificate the next day. I stood up and said my story. I told everyone of when I was a little girl all I wanted was a horse and to dance but sadly at the time there was no way my parents could afford these things. My father worked hard in the bush felling trees throughout the week and hunted to put food on our table in the weekends and my mother raised us kids well. I begged them to take me to dance lessons and I even walked the neighbour’s dog and painted rocks to sell to fund my horse dream. I even had an old hack and paddock lined up but still my parents wouldn’t allow it.  However, as an adult I never let my dreams go. I went on to get my first horse and learnt all I had to, and I even attended hip hop lessons and danced in front of 100’s of people at a live Sharks basketball game and on TV.
 
I was so taken back by everyone at the course and to be honest was intimidated by their intelligence. I shocked a few people with my talk, and I thanked each and everyone of them for what they had given me. The women that whispered in my ear on the first day cried and said she was so taken aback by me and how much she had under estimated everyone in the room. She was so embarrassed.
 
How you see others is a reflection of yourself good or bad.
 
Its up to us. It’s up to you and me to use our weakness as strengths. See I was seen as less as these people but won their hearts by completely being myself, by being authentic, and by thinking outside the box and using resources such as Suri to finish my studies and succeed. I still struggle sometimes but I sure do love me a good challenge. I have a hard work ethic and I will be successful in everything I put my mind too. Dyslexia is not something to be ashamed of being dyslexic has helped me succeed.
 
On the whiteboard we looked at difficulties (weaknesses) with being dyslexic and then worked through them with the strategies we can use to make then a strength.
Some of the weaknesses included;
Anxiety
Frustration
Ability to express
Dictionary
Processing
Self doubt
 
The strengths are shown in the photo.