Communication in the workplace and with partners.
· Identify verbal communication differences
· Increase awareness of personal triggers affecting verbal communication
· Develop tools to improve communication.
· A part of the definition for dyslexia is that verbal communication is harder
eg Head is very busy processing information, lots of facts and maybe pictures and not able to join them up and get a messy picture in the head and may feel ‘stupid’
· Need the ‘big picture’ or end result
· Connecting information may take longer
· If the ‘big picture’ is not given first it will be hard or impossible to connect the facts
· Verbal overload. eg given three instruction one after the other and processing first one and don’t hear rest. Tell child clean your teeth, put your shoes on, get your lunch box.
· Fear of getting it wrong (hang over from school) may cause the brain to go ‘off line’
· If the speaker uses too many words, processing the information is too hard
· Need to get info in bullet points
· Your brain works faster than the person you are talking to and you get ahead of them
1. When the information is processed more creative, ‘outside the box’ solutions are developed
2. Often fast processing leads to quicker solutions
3. At the leading edge of problem solving
Body Language and increased sensitivity to others
Very sensitive to body language eg
· Facial expression
· A change in body movement
· Silent instead of talkative
· Tone of voice
1. Usually able to know fairly quickly if another person is ok.
2. Mostly able to connect well with children
3. Able to suss out a work/social situation
Body Language and Increased Sensitivity to others problems
· Leads to taking others reactions personally and going into ‘go to’ coping
· Reacting when you are not the problem – everyone has this however if low self esteem is more pronounced the more heightened the awareness eg.
1. The boss is under stress and a bit abrupt and we immediately think it is something we have done or said.
2. Our partner is quieter than usual and we automatically think we are the problem
‘Go to’ coping reactions when feeling wrong/blamed or criticized
· Normal and necessary and everyone has them.
· The more negative feedback the worse you feel and the more the ‘go to’ coping skills are needed
· Go to ‘coping reactions’ when feeling wrong blamed or criticized
· Normal and necessary, everyone has them
· Survival, needed when young
· When young the more you get bad feedback the more we need ‘go to’ ways of coping
· Negative feedback leads to
low self esteem and lack of confidence
being more likely to dwell on negative feedback
feeling more defensive and using ‘go to’ coping ways.
Reactions to ‘go to’ coping ways kicking in
· Physically feel sick, sore head, brain off line
· ‘Armour’ on to protect self
Ideas for helping with communication
Purpose: to become more aware of the connection between the bodily reactions and what is happening in the brain
· Identify when brain ‘off line’ and use strategies to get back ‘on line’ such as things that take us away from panic/anxiety/worry and put us in the thinking part of the brain
· Have a simple saying eg ‘zip my lips’ (gives time to think)
· Ask the person a question (this has two benefits, makes the questioner feel good and gives us time to think)
· In head count to 5 – 10
· In head count objects you are able to see in the room
· In head name objects
· Belly breathing
What will help me remember to use these strategies
· Find one trigger that would remind me to use strategy. E.g. feel sick, may be fast breathing, holding breathe, not able to think, scared, frustrated, angry.