Grief unique to a dyslexia diagnosis

1st July 2019 Speaker: Caroline Loo

​Overview
·         What is it?
·         What are the triggers?
·         What are the types of grief?
·         How can you function with grief?
 
Grief

• Is very common
• There is good grief
• It can come from sadness, stress and/or shock
• You can be grief stricken – it is not just one clear cut emotion
• It is the bodies way of dealing with loss from death, changes or other experiences
• You feel it on the inside. It affects every part of you, for example, feel tired, can’t concentrate, feel it in the head or heart
• Grief is physical
• It is internal
• It is automatic

 
What losses trigger grief?

• Loss
• injury
• diagnosis
• children left home
• life changes
• relationship changes
• loss of hopes and dreams
• lose sense of identity and confidence
• lose person want to be with

 
What happens to your identity in grief?
You have to figure out who you are in a new situation and learn to live with it. You need to learn what that new identity is. Even with good change, the reality of the change can trigger grief. For example, change to retirement, youngest child starts school.
 
Mourning

• is an outward way of grieving.
• The act of mourning is going to a funeral or giving flowers or burning candles.
• Mourning is doing something

  
Types of grief
 
Grief can be from death or a life transition. It is something that is final. For example, you are moving to a new place to live. It is change that stays with you all your life.
 
Chronic sorrow
This is with you all your life and you face it each day. For example, dementia in families.
Living loss is another name for chronic sorrow. When you get a diagnosis, this can trigger an emotional part and you have to make adaptations in living daily with it, the loss impacts you everyday. Getting a diagnosis means you want to know and you want to get to know what it is.
 
Living losses are not always evident which means it is hard to live with.
 
What you can do about it

• Say OK had enough time trying to make sense of it
• turn a negative into positive (This is vital)

 
How do we shine the light on the positive

• listen to our voice, most of our voices are negative 
• the thoughts we think is who we become
• Make the voice more positive by doing something outward (doing something),for example,  women might bring a friend to a new experience, men do projects
• Other ideas include
  • new experience
  • exercise
  • actively making decisions

 
After developing the new normal and your new identity not everything needs to come from the past. Trust your inner voice, check it out with someone first. It's okay to morph and change. Connect with like minded people. Connecting with like minded people refuels us.
 
Stress
Stress is important. Too much stress is not great though. Living with lot of change is stressful and we need to flush out the adrenaline. Be aware of your fluid and food intake, drink lots of water.
 
Get on and do it

• positive self talk
• now can be frustrating, look at future goals
• set realistic goals
• do journalling, getting it down on paper helps with the processing. It doesn't have to be writing, it can be drawing, painting or sculpting.

  
Looking after yourself

• honor who you are
• have acceptance of who you are
• have confidence in who you are
• have reconciliation of who you are

 
Control of your dyslexia and your response to being dyslexic.
We have to own this.
People mime how we respond.
Owning it and how we present it makes a difference
Advocate for yourself
 
Living loss is real and you are allowed to feel it.